“It became frustrating,” Sandeep recalls. Even so, there was a point where her kids didn’t fit in her bed anymore. “I often say that having kids is a slow process of them moving farther and farther away from your body,” she tells me.
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Sandeep, who owns the Brooklyn Heights boutique Salter House, considered the co-sleeping experience so magical and instrumental in bonding that she did it again with her second daughter, Eta, for a full year even though they had been then moved into a two-bedroom apartment. Even when Lowe Roma transitioned to her crib at six months, it was positioned in the living room, a shared space where Sandeep could always see and hear her. When her first daughter was born, she and her husband lived in such a small space that they didn’t have a choice but to all sleep in one bedroom. Sandeep Salter’s two daughters, who are ten and seven, have also long since moved into their own rooms. “And I appreciate having the quiet time.” But now that they’re older and more independent, she’s even more conscious of the pleasures of having her own space.
“I can shut out the world in that space, “I just scroll and veg out.” Every night, Elizabeth’s kids still ask to sleep in bed with her, but she redirects them back to their room (if they wake up from a nightmare, she doesn’t mind if they jump in bed with her). I had my own space within a space that wasn’t really mine anymore.”Īnd like Maria, she takes refuge in a hot bath. “I could listen to all my swear words in my podcast and my crazy music. “That was the only way that I could feel like I had my own life,” she says about that period of time before her divorce. The solution ended up being a pair of Nothing headphones, which she popped in while going about her business or taking care of the kids at home.
Now six and eight, Elizabeth recalls how when her sons were both in diapers the constant noise in the home prevented her from being able to hear her own thoughts. For the divorcee, this bedroom serves as a sacred space for solo time.
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